My grandmother wants me to “teach her technology,” and I have no idea where to begin!

Question:
My grandmother is having issues with her computer and asked me if I could “teach her technology” the next time I visit. I want to help, but I honestly have no idea what that means! There are a million things I could try to teach her, and I don't even know what she already knows—or what she actually needs to know. Where do I begin?

The short answer

Start by not teaching her anything.

At least not yet.

Instead, have a conversation.

Plenty of grandchildren have found themselves in the role of family digital technology helper. But helping Grandma doesn't have to mean sitting at the kitchen table saying, “No, a right-click is with the right button on the mouse. No, not that one. Not like that...”

Before you decide what she needs to learn, find out what she already knows—and what she'd actually like to be able to do.

First, find out what Grandma already knows

You may be surprised.

Many older adults have been using different forms of digital technology for decades. But devices, operating systems, and the ways we use them keep changing. Sometimes the challenge isn't learning everything from scratch—it's connecting knowledge someone already has with the way things work today.

There's another possibility, too: Grandma may be underestimating herself.

Someone might tell you, “I'm terrible with technology,” while regularly using Facebook on both a computer and a phone, resetting forgotten passwords, or creating a Google Sheet for their social club.

That's quite a bit of digital technology knowledge!!

She may simply not recognize those things as “technology skills.”

Let her show you what she does

Ask your grandmother what she already does with her computer, tablet, or smartphone.

And here's an important part: let her explain it in her own words.

Don't worry about correcting her terminology.

If she says she “scans the restaurant checkerboard” when she's talking about using a QR code to order coffee, that's okay. You don't need the vocabulary lesson yet. You need to understand what she's already able to accomplish.

As you talk, jot down the devices and applications she uses and the things she already knows how to do.

Then ask what she actually wants to do

This is where “teach me technology” can turn into something much more manageable.

Ask questions like:

Is there something specific you'd like to be able to do?

Is there something that's frustrating you right now?

Is there something you wish you felt more confident doing?

You may discover that Grandma doesn't actually want a crash course in “technology.”

Maybe she wants to shop safely on eBay.

Maybe she wants to start a newsletter and mistakenly thinks she needs to learn how to code first.

Maybe she can do everything she wants on her iPad, but the text is so small that using it is frustrating.

Once you understand the goal or barrier, you have a much better idea of what she actually meant by, “Can you teach me technology when you're in town for Christmas?”

You don't necessarily have to be the teacher

Here's something that might be a relief: being the family technology person doesn't mean you have to teach every technology skill yourself.

In fact, teaching someone you're close to can sometimes be harder.

Think about learning to drive with a family member in the passenger seat. Enough said.

Once you know what your grandmother wants to learn, you can help her find someone who already knows how to teach it.

Start with the library

Your local library is a great place to look.

Libraries may offer one-on-one digital skills assistance, classes, or other technology support.

Instead of teaching Grandma yourself, maybe your role is helping her:

• find out what the library offers

• make an appointment

• choose a class

• register for it

• get there the first time—or even go with her

If the library doesn't offer what she needs, look for other organizations in her community. Senior centers, community centers, technology nonprofits, and organizations serving older adults may offer digital skills classes or support as well.

And, of course, you can check the Wright to Learn calendar for upcoming classes. If your grandmother's library doesn't currently offer digital skills programming, they can also reach out to Wright to Learn about training or classes for their community.

If you do want to help teach her, you don't have to create the lessons yourself

There are free resources that can take some of the guesswork out of figuring out what to teach—and in what order.

For example, the Public Library Association created DigitalLearn.org, which offers free online tutorials for people who want to build digital skills.

Instead of sitting down and trying to invent “Grandma's Technology Curriculum,” you could sit with her while she works through a tutorial.

Now you're not necessarily the instructor. You're her support person.

You can help if she gets stuck, talk through something confusing, or help her figure out what she'd like to explore next.

And you may know more than you think, too

Remember how Grandma may be underestimating her own digital skills?

You might be doing the same thing.

If you're the person family members already turn to when they're stuck, you may have some of the skills that make a good digital navigator.

Digital navigators help people identify their technology needs, find resources, build digital skills, and work through barriers. And here's the important part: you don't have to be a technology expert to be a good digital navigator.

Think about what you've just done with your grandmother. You listened to what she already knows. You helped her figure out what she wants to accomplish. You looked for resources instead of pretending you had every answer. And you'll be there to help when she gets stuck.

Those are valuable skills.

So if you discover that you actually enjoy being the family's designated digital-skills person, you might want to learn more about digital navigation or digital-skills instruction.

Who knows? Grandma's request to “teach her technology” might help both of you discover something new.

The takeaway

When someone says, “Can you teach me technology?”, don't start by making a list of everything you think they ought to know.

Start with:

What do you already do?

Then ask:

What would you like to be able to do?

From there, you can figure out whether the best next step is showing Grandma something yourself, finding a class, working through a tutorial together, or connecting her with someone who teaches digital skills.

And remember: you don't have to know everything about technology to help someone else become more confident using it.

Sometimes being a good technology helper—or a good digital navigator—isn't about having all the answers.

It's about listening, helping someone identify what they need, and knowing how to help them find the next step.

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